once my sister got rejected for a job at a web design company that she really wanted to work for so that night she hacked into their website and redirected it to her blog and the next day the CEO called her and hired her on the spot so moral of the story: if at first you don’t succeed, hack their website and make them beg for mercy
Why was Oedipus against profanity?
Because he kisses his mother with that mouth.
I’m getting really tired of these motherfucking jokes.
have you ever tried typing on a keyboard you arent familiar with
jave yuo ever yried typong on a leyboard yuo arent familiar woth
parents who vaccinate their children without their consent are terrible parents, no exceptions.
parents who let their children die of completely preventable diseases because they think 8 year olds are capable of making their own medical decisions are terrible parents. no exceptions
this is incredibly frustrating
I’M GETTING SO ANGRY
What is that shit?
nothing will fuck you up as much as the realization that there’s no real reason the alphabet needs to be in order
If another fucking cockhead says to me that I’m not fit because I don’t have thin legs imma break your neck with my thighs and squat your limp lifeless body
I’m so into you right now.
i feel bad for 5’11 boys like u were so close. u almost made it.
I had a friend who was 5’11 and a half. He just sort of looked at the doctor with such downheartedness that the man replied: “…I’ll just mark you down as six feet. Tell no one.”
In grade 3 people used to bully me and call me donkey because apparently I looked like one and I would always reply with “Donkeys are cute therefore i’m cute!” And one day this kid was like, ” No donkeys are ugly creatures that poor people use for transportation” and I replied with “AT LEAST PEOPLE LIKE TO RIDE ME!” And my teacher started laughing and I didn’t know why until today because I just realized what I said omg